The End is Here

Ever since I started working full time I have seen some changes in me. For starters I haven’t slept past 10:00 am in months even if I’m out till 6 the night before. I’m definitely more care free about little money issues that would typically result in an argument with friends. One change that has severely bothered me is this absolute decrease in my creativity. I don’t know if it’s from just working long hours, running out of stories or just an entire change in my priorities, but I haven’t been able to come up with shit to write in quite some time now. In fact I haven’t even been able to find the motivation to write until tonight. This entry will be the final post on this blog, as I have simply been unable to find the desire and motivation to write for this some may call smut filled product of the information age. I do not regret sharing the stories of my life from my days of impulsive indulgence at college, if any you found them amusing and they made you laugh then I am glad. If any of you saw any of the movies I have recommended solely because of this blog then I am even more proud for I find movies to be truly the last great genre of art in our culture. I want to thank everyone who has ever mentioned to me that they have read this blog and were entertained by it. I started this blog almost a year ago and a little more than 365 days later I find myself calling an end to it. The last thing I will say is to all of you who have ever considered writing, to do it. Writing is the greatest form of expression and it can help you find out a lot about yourself, find closures to unanswered questions in your life, or just overall be a fun thing to do in your spare time. Those are some of the reasons I began writing and created this blog, (that and because 4 straight days of being around Fat’s ex drove me to the door steps of insanity).  So to sign off I like to use a quote from one of my favorite Eminem songs because it defines my entire mindset when it comes to writing, comedy and at times life:

To all the drugs that I’ve done, yeah I’m still gonna do,
To all the people I’ve offended, yeah fuck you too!
To every time I reminisce, yeah I miss my past,
But I still don’t give a fuck, ya’ll can kiss my ass.

Sincerely,

Andy Mark

My 1st Show

I know I have been slacking on the stories lately, you can attribute that to working full time, laziness, or just writer's block whichever you prefer I don't give a shit. However I have been able to keep up the stand up comedy gig at least every now and then, including my first show two Sundays ago in New York City. I haven't felt nervous like I did that night, before going on stage, and being on it since I first started doing stand up. Overall it was one of the most extremely fun and satisfying experience of my life, and below is the link to my performance. Enjoy mofos.

if the video isn't working here's the youtube link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDYawBOpPSg

Irene, You Dirty Damn Whore Part 1

Right now I’m sitting in the guest room at my cousin’s house in Bear Mountain. It’s my 1^st Saturday in off in two weeks and it was going to be one for the ages. My dad won tickets to the Jets vs. Giants preseason game. I know preseason is fucking gay, but I’ve never been to the new stadium, and these were tickets to the mother fucking Lexus club! What’s the Lexus Club you ask? I have no fucking clue, but the face value of the tickets was $350 sooo ITS GOTS TO BE LEGIT. I envisioned stuffing my face at some swanky company box suite, while simultaneously drinking as much beer as I can, flirting with the waitresses who would totally dig me cuz I’m a beautiful bastard, plus obnoxiously reminding every Giant fan that Matt Dodge was their punter last year. As a true diehard Jets fan I can’t describe to you how excited I was for this, and then the shit hit the fan. Hurricane Irene fucked it all up for me, and this is how it went down.

I started working my first full time job the first day of August. It sucked some serious man cock my first two weeks. My mind was so fucking warped at that time, that the first night I got drunk after a day of work, I threatened to burn Fat’s face with this chick’s cigarette. Then again that was mainly because he was welting on a bet to drive my drunk ass to Taco Bell so that would have been my reaction regardless.

Anyways this job has had me working about 10 hours a day and sometimes Saturday but the money’s good and I’m a whore for the dollar so I deal. I have however found myself losing it at times, like yesterday I was trying to figure out how to methodically kill myself at the BJ’s kiosk I was stuck at all day. I had planned on connecting my belt to my tie, and hanging myself that way, but after flirting with some hot moms, the suicidal thoughts passed. That’s basically how my WORK day ended Friday, which was depressing when I look back to how it started out. My manager actually owned up to a bet he made with me earlier that week, which resulted in him buying me a bottle of Jack Daniels, needless to say it was a fantastic start to the day. Unfortunately this would be the sole high and highlight of my day, as this day would soon just get shittier and shittier. The shit-storm began rolling in when my department head pulled up the numbers from Thursday. I thought I was set to have a big day, because I had a lot of appointments going out that day. To make a long story short my job is to go around places like BJ’s and successfully set up people with appointments for free estimates on their windows or roofs, if the appointment (which will be referred to as “sets” for now on) takes place, and demos I make commission. I had four going out on Thursday and NONE of them demoed. This really pissed me off, but that’s just the way it is at that job.

The torrential down pour of crap was just getting started, I was hoping they would put me in a location close to home on a Friday, some place like Freeport. You know where they stuck me that day? Riverhead, the worst fucking location there is. Riverhead licked nuts for two reasons; First off you can’t walk around the store talking to customers casually, because you’re basically chained to a company kiosk at the exit of the store, which makes it a bitch to set people up. And second Riverhead is all the way at the end of the FUCKING LIE, and takes about an hour to get to. So I head out there a little bit agitated yet still optimistic. I didn’t get a single set not one. I was there till fucking 730 and then decided to give up and bounced. Now I am physically exhausted, extremely disappointed and motivated to completely finish my free bottle of Jack Daniels that night.

I invite the guys over to drink and hopefully head out to a bar the last night before the hurricane hits. Once I got home I see my mom packing a ton of shit up and talking about evacuating. Now the shit-storm that was my day has turned into a Category 5 shit-hurricane. I try to calm my mom down and assure her the news was blowing the storm out of proportion. This rush of logical reassurance worked temporarily, until my town gets issued a mandatory evacuation an hour later. That was it that was the final straw; my mom insisted that we leave for my cousins place upstate, for the next two days.

We get up the crack of dawn the next morning, pack all our shit up, try to flood proof the house, keep all the electronics elevated, and then finally flee from my home. It is official I am a refugee, should of known all those Hurricane Katrina jokes would come back to haunt me. By the time I post this I’ll know if I have a home left, or if this was simply the most overhyped storm of all time. All I know is as of now I am a mother fucking refugee.

I wrote the above bit on Saturday morning, it’s now Sunday night and the storm is over. There was some major damage in parts of my town but my house remained unharmed. Ironically my cousin’s house where we were staying at had a power outage. I found out that my house never lost power, so basically the place we evacuated to was worse off than my house. This motivated my dad and I to leave a day earlier than we planned to while my mom stayed. It also led to what was one of the most epic ride homes I have ever had. That however is a story for another day.

 

Smoking Hookah With The Drus

One of the best experiences of my life was when I participated on the Taglit Birthright trip to Israel. I wrote a brief reflection post on this blog about that trip a few weeks after I returned, in which I described the truly deep impact Israel left on me. On a side note if you have the privileged opportunity to participate on the Birthright trip…take it, enough said. For this post I want to share a short story of one of the most entertaining nights I had when I was with the birthright group. This was a truly unique experience that was only made possible by pure chance, motivation to booze in a foreign land, and being at the right place at the right time.

It was the third night of the standard Birthright trip and we were staying at a new Kibbutz out in a desert area of Israel. I unfortunately cannot remember the name of this Kibbutz because I’m a schmuck. Up to this point we had been up for two straight nights boozing, partying, getting to know each other through the use of the great drinking game Kings, hiking, sightseeing, and other various activities. Not to mention a 13 hour flight from which I was still recovering from. When we got to our resting spot in the Kibbutz we were given new roommates. My new roommates were Translator, whose nickname is derived from the story I’m about to share. He was a good dude, a little quiet, but someone who was very easy to live with and get along with. My other roommate was Scalp one of the craziest fuckers I have ever met in my life, at first he reminded me of Slayer from his mannerisms and the fact that he looked and sounded just like him, but the main difference between Scalp and Slayer is that Scalp was an absolute maniac. The one event where this whole insane perception I have of Scalp came to be (in my mind at least) was when we were in Jerusalem. On the second night there the whole group was boozing hard, Scalp especially, and the guy decided to let everyone shave his head, then he went out on his own and explored the streets of Jerusalem BY HIMSELF. I will say this for Scalp though, the guy had a good heart he wasn’t a bad dude, just completely out of his mind.

Now getting back to the story…After dinner everyone settled into their new rooms. Scalp and I are down to keep the party going where as it seemed the majority of our group wanted to stay in for the night and recover from the aforementioned list of activities. However this did not discourage Scalp from trying to find something to do that night besides rest. He easily convinced Translator and myself to follow him into the night. We grab a few of our wine bottles that we had purchased from the Golan Heights Winery the day before and headed out.

We walk past one “cabin” on the Kibbutz where three men not from our group were smoking hookah. As soon as we past them they invite us onto their deck to join in the hookah. Without even discussing it Scalp ran onto the deck, grabbed a hookah hose and began smoking. Translator and I figured we might as well join them after all it was outside in the middle of the Kibbutz. The three guys were very friendly and hospitable, but they really didn’t know that much English, which is why Translator became the MVP of the night. Translator was able to speak the Hebrew/Arabic or whatever hybrid language the guys were speaking pretty damn well and was able to act has the interpreter for the evening. Quite frankly if it wasn’t for Translator, that night would have never played out the way it did.

The three guys belonged to a group of people in Israel known as the Drus. The Drus are a sect of Islamic people who live in Israel and are loyal to the country and I believe have participated in the Israeli army as well, and still maintained their Islamic beliefs and traditions. They had a one hose hookah that was hitting very well and smoothly. While smoking with them I popped open one of my wine bottles, the Drus brought out some glasses and we had an intercultural cheers with our new friends.

The Drus also had their stock of booze as well and shared it with us. After maybe an hour or two of boozing and hookah smoking, We go from the normal “getting to know you” conversation to teaching our new friends (through Translator of course) some of our favorite English words like pussy and cock, and the Drus taught us similar sophisticated words in their language as well. Every time somebody who looked like a chick walked by in the distance one of them would scream “I HAVE BIG COCK FOR YOU!!” or Scalp /I would scream out the Hebrew version of that sentence. We were all dying in laughter and proceeded to drink and smoke more as you can see.

We were running low on booze so two of the Drus went to get more booze and Scalp went with them. At first Translator and I didn’t think much of the situation but then we looked at each other as if to say, what the fuck just happened. A rule of the Birthright group was to never leave the spot where the group is staying, for obvious reasons especially alone. Scalp did not follow these rules, and got into a car with two people we had literally just met three hours ago. Translator and I continued to smoke the hookah and engage in friendly conversation with the one Dru who stayed, while thinking the whole time that Scalp may end up being either: 1) Killed 2) Kicked off of Birthright or 3) Abducted and then killed. I suppose you can blame this paranoia on the media, my own prejudices or the fact that Israel is one of the most conflict ridden areas of the world, take your pick. After what felt like an eternity later Scalp returned with the other two Drus and more fantastic liquor. Once they returned more friends from the Birthright group had gotten word from Scalp about the festivities and came by. Now the Drus were shouting “I have a big cock” to the girls of our group which I found exponentially more entertaining. The girls were cool with it after all they were getting free hookah and booze.

Towards the end of the night the communication between us and the Drus went down like this. Scalp would shout out what he thought was perfect Hebrew to the Drus but was really just drunken gibberish, Translator would try to umm…translate…what he was saying, and I would sit there and say the only Hebrew word I knew “Tov” which meant good.

Once all the booze was gone and both Scalp and one of the Drus were sufficiently shitfaced, aka passing out, we called it a night, and parted ways with our friendly hosts. That whole night really opened my eyes to the true kindness of strangers. I mean it’s not like they saved our lives while putting themselves at risk, but still these complete strangers who didn’t even speak the same language as us welcomed us into their home with open arms and a freshly packed hookah. To me that is the ultimate act of kindness. 

Translator in action

Scalp trying to speak Hebrew

One hell of a night

McMandy vs. Pearl Street: Round 1

The downtown capital district of Albany was always a mystery to me for the first two years of Albany. Mainly because they were all 21+ bars and I was too cheap to buy a fake ID. It really wasn’t until junior year that we started checking it out occasionally and not until senior year that we began to go every Saturday. The one area of the downtown capital district I’m referring to is Pearl Street. Pearl Street is like New York City except smaller, closer together, and A LOT CHEAPER. Turn the right corner on Pearl Street and you can find anything (subtle Sin City quote FTW). The story I’m about to share about Albany’s version of Las Vegas Boulevard is about my first official visit to that magnificent street of debauchery, which of course took place my freshman year and of course involves McMandy.

Spring semester freshman year, the day before our mid February break and I am looking for one more night of boozing before heading home.  None of my fellow Montauk Hall residents were down so I sought out a different group of associates who would be down to get fucked up on a Tuesday night. I contacted my friend from orientation Ging who I had partied with on occasion in that first glorious year at Albany. Apparently Ging and his floormates were heading out to a “new” bar being promoted in Albany’s capital district which was unknown territory to me at that time. That bar was called the Pearl Street Pub and they were offering free transportation to the bar, and incredible drink specials that night. Upon hearing this news I became extremely excited, it sounded so fucking legit and sounded almost too good to be true. Now according to Ging there was going to be a party bus that was going to pick us up from the quad, be supplied with booze, and take us all the way to the pub. Now I may have been naïve and stupid back then, but even I was skeptical about this, but I wasn’t going to complain, I was just down to roll with the night a matra of mine that will inevitably lead to my demise someday.

After shot-gunning a few cans of keystone light, Ging and I began to feel a good buzz. It was moments later that the “transportation” arrived. If you could have guessed it was not a luxurious party bus, but instead two dank vans, with Pearl Street Pub logos on them. Don’t misinterpret this, they didn’t look like rape vans, they looked like taxi vans but kind of rundown. Looking back I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, getting into those vans without question, I guess I just blindly trusted Ging’s crew in making good decisions, blame it on the booze.

We jump into the taxi like vans and started heading to the capital district. My bladder began to betray me, I had maybe four beers, and they were passing through me quickly. I’d been to the capital district one time before back when my dad and I were visiting Albany in the summer, and this was my first time going back since, so I had no idea how long the ride was going to be. With each passing minute the need to piss grew and grew. Finally I caught a break, the second van with the rest of our crew missed a light and we had to pull over to wait for them. I took full advantage of this opportunity and leaped out of the van and started pissing in the snow. One of the most relieving feelings of my life and although I was being yelled at by everyone in the van I could not give less of a fuck. Luckily I finished just before the second van caught up, so there was no delay. A few minutes later and we were not being murdered by the drivers, but being dropped off in front of the bar.

We arrive at the bar, show the bouncers our chalked/fake IDs and get into the place no problem, ah Albany freshmen year the good old days. This was my first time in a legit bar and I was blown away by this place. It had two bars with legit liquor bottles in stock, no Crystal Palace or Evan Williams at this place. There were plenty of space to move around and have actual conversations without screaming, and a big ass dance floor on the ground level. Considering  the only three bars I’ve been to before that night were the hole in the wall sensation affectionately known as Chubbys, my most successful hookup spot the shady Michaels, and a total shithole called Boogies, so needless to say this was the nicest bar I had ever been to in Albany.

There was a legit crowd in attendance, a much more diverse crowd than I was used to. It wasn’t the usual blend of freshman and sophomores from a combination of schools in the Albany area, but a lot more of an older crowd, which further feed my belief that I was finally at a legit place. The best part was that it was two for one drink specials that night. This usually results in an eventful evening for me, sometimes entertaining, sometimes shameful. Take a guess which genre this night fell under. After pounding down maybe 10 drinks, McMandy had officially broken loose from his minimal confinement within my twisted mind.

While McMandy, I aggressively flirted with almost every girl in attendance including an older woman who I think was part of the bars management, and was obscenely hot. She was nice to me probably because she was used to getting hit on by horny drunk bastards like me. I had no shot which I loudly informed everyone around me once she walked away.

I was in the bathroom when it happened. I stumbled into the bathroom to excrete some urine when I butted into a conversation with three dudes I had never met before. For some reason I thought they said kick the wall or we’ll kick your ass. Afraid a three on one beat down (that I cannot confirm was the actual scenario), I complied with their ‘demand’ (that probably wasn’t even made) and started kicking that absolute shit out the bathroom wall. I was wearing boots and kicked a fucking hole in the bathroom wall. Hearing the crowd reactions and the breaking of tile, two giant bouncers ran in grabbed me and threw me out of the fucking bar. I don’t think I was speaking English while I tried to negotiate my re-entry and as you can guess wasn’t allowed back in. I peed in an alley behind the bar, jumped in a cab with some girls from Ging’s crew who by a miraculous coincidence were leaving too and headed back to campus a defeated man.

This was the beginning of a battle of wills between my primitive alcohol fueled alter-ego and one of the best party spots in town. Countless times Senior and Junior year would McMandy come out on Pearl Street and have his share of victories and defeats. Victory meaning I survived without incident or got ass, defeat meaning I get kicked out of whatever bar I went too or ended up puking the whole night. At the conclusion of that night freshman year, it was Pearl Street 1 McMandy 0

My Last Bender

Well college is officially over for me. The physically reckless, self-joy driven and laid back lifestyle I had at SUNY Albany is over. McMandy is dead and buried. Then again I’d like to consider McMandy to be similar to one of those killers in horror movies. The ones you think are dead at the end of the flick but they always end up coming back to life for the sequels. Anyways, the weeks leading up to the end of this chapter of my life were intense to say the least.  Those weeks were filled with tearful goodbyes to the good friends I’ve met over the years, with a pessimistic yet realistic mentality that I’ll probably never see a good number of them ever again. An absurd number of ‘last times’ seemed to be constantly experienced as well. Last lecture I’ll ever sleep through, last time eating at a favorite local spot, last time drunkenly stumbling out of a bar to get a beef patty special at 2 am. Another ‘last’ which is what the following post is about, was the last binge drinking bender I went on.

               

Now if you know me or have read the stories in this blog, you know I like to drink and by drink I mean drink a lot. I don’t consider a bender one night of heavy drinking, a bender in my mind (and what I believe in the majority of people’s minds) consists of several boozing sessions throughout the day of simply pounding down booze. Honestly though, my benders at Albany were a seldom few, just the annual Kegs and Eggs, and a few random times throughout those four glorious years. Three weeks ago I was invited to a BBQ that was being hosted by the communication honor society that I am a part of, I know…very impressive. The thing I loved the most about this group and the communication major itself (besides the lack of difficulty) was that it was 90% chicks, and a good portion of these girls were smoking hot. The only other club I was a part of in Albany was the wrestling club/team, so as you can imagine this new guy to girl ratio was warmly welcomed. Any BBQ in college is really a BeerBQ and that’s exactly what this gathering of the brightest minds in the communications department was. I showed up around 1 pm, and that’s when my final bender began.

When I first got there the head of the honor society was still getting things ready, the keg hadn’t arrived yet and only a few people were there, one of which was a cute redhead I hit on a few times before that day, needless to say it was a little awkward. Then again I was in the ‘I don’t give a fuck stage’ at this point in time so it didn’t bother me. All I fucking wanted to do was booze and booze hard. About a half hour later the keg arrived along with more girls from the group and their friends. I was told it was going to be a ‘members only’ BBQ so I went alone, but I had no beef with the additional female guests. Once the keg began to flow I strategically stationed myself at the mother fucker to insure I got as much as possible. Also this is a preferred signature move of mine, as I wrote about in a previous post The Importance of Running the Keg 101. I also was filling up people’s cups which I liked for two reasons, 1. It was a good way to talk to the girls there, 2. It beat the shit out of grilling which because I was one of the few guys there would have been my responsibility. Judging by how shitty the grill was and all the smoke drowning the poor bastard trying to start the thing, I’d say I made the right call.

After about an hour of literally nonstop drinking I was feeling a good drunk and started to socialize with the girls there. I hung out with this group of juniors who were all blonde, played sports, and really damn cute. I was digging these girls, besides the qualities mentioned above they were all really friendly and down to earth. I thought I may have had a shot with two of them, but then the inevitable bombshell was dropped on me. They ALL had boyfriends, and because they were nice girls I knew they were probably faithful too. This caused me to start drinking heavily again, I still was hanging out with them, but the fact that they were all taken depressed me. It always seems like all the good ones are always taken and these girls were a solid example of this unfortunate reality.

Looking back considering the majority of the people at the BBQ were not heavy drinkers I think I may have took down half the fucking keg. An exaggeration maybe, but all I know was I was absolutely abusing the fucking tap for the entirety of the BBQ. Around 5ish the BBQ died down and I had managed to inappropriately flirt with EVERY girl there so I felt it was time to leave, with the intention of going home, passing the fuck out for a few hours and drinking again. That was my plan until Harry drove past the bus stop.

I crashed at Harry’s place the night before, so I was running on very little sleep. However it was too nice of a day to sleep through, so when Harry asked me if I wanted to come to his place for more day boozing I was down. Harry was living the life this year. He was living with some good friends we’ve known since freshmen year who were also in a frat. Basically he was living in a frat house without being part of the frat. He experienced pretty much all of the benefits of being part of a frat without going through the torturous pledging process. Guys who were pledging that year thought he was a genius. I couldn’t imagine this happening with any other frat guys but the guys Harry was living with are pretty chill with the whole Greek life bullshit. What I hate about typical frat douches are the ones who let being a frat brother become their sole definition while totally ditching the person they were when they started pledging. That really wasn’t the case for these guys which is probably why we’ve remained friends over those four years.

Getting back to the story…at this point I am pretty fucking drunk so my recollection of what happened at the house is a little vague. I don’t remember anything to crazy happening all I remember was grabbing a couple of beers, chilling on the deck, acting like an idiot, unsuccessfully flirting with the insanely hot girls who were there (including Rock’s smokeshow girlfriend, which happened a few times that year) and discovering that I was completely sunburned. It was cloudy when I left so I didn’t put any sunscreen on, but my skin sucks and I was out in the sun for the past five hours so I was burnt to a fucking crisp. The pain was not as intense because of how drunk I was, but this severe sunburn ended up being the main reason for my departure.

When I got back to my apartment I was now officially shithammered, Fat laughed in my face because of how burned and wasted I was. After practically bathing in Aloe, we go to Subway; this was my first and will be my only time wrecked at a Subway. I struggled to stand up in line and get my order out of my mouth coherently, while making crappy jokes to the high school kid behind the counter. I devoured my fucking sandwich and was ready for a solid drunk nap. However it was getting late and Fat wanted to start drinking and head over to Scope’s place, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I took maybe a half hour nap before I made my first pre pregame drink. After slipping in and out of consciousness and drooling on my desk we headed over to Scope’s.

We get to Scope’s place where his roommates had friends visiting including two unbelievably hot chicks from Staten Island. I sat down with my drink and as you can tell from the picture I was hanging on by a thread.

Can't tell if I'm actually awake here

I manned up though and continue to booze, after all college was almost over, when am I ever going to drink like this again? Towards the end of the pregame Scope’s roommate AeroBee convinced me to shotgun a beer with him…bad move. Halfway through the shotgun, I dropped the beer in the sink, ran to the toilet and violently threw up what to me looked like blood but considering I’m still alive probably wasn’t. Scope snapped this picture right after.

Got to love college

After all of this I WAS STILL AWAKE AND DOWN TO GO OUT. The idea of going to Pearl Street in Albany on a Saturday night was all the motivation I needed. We get to the bar and I have a few more beers, after all it was two for one Bud Lights. I down the beers and hit on every pair of legs I saw only to once again get shut down in brutal fashion. How was this happening I mean look at me, who could say no to this?

Nevermind

One dude who was wearing a fucking suite actually tried to start shit with me because I was hitting on his girlfriend, what a whiny little bitch. Around 3:30 is when I hit my wall and my body literally began to shut down. I remember sitting at a table with everyone and not being able to do ANYTHING. I had officially reached my breaking point and my body performed an emergency shutdown in the middle of the fucking bar. I caught a cab, with Scope and one of the Staten Island girls, headed back to my place and finally pass the fuck out.

The next morning I think I was having alcohol withdrawal because my entire body was shaking at breakfast. I had boozed for almost 14 straight hours in five different locations and consumed an unknown amount of alcohol. The fact that I survived and didn’t end up in a fight or jail shocks me. That was my last bender ever and it was one hell of a way to begin the end of my college days.

Brief Break

Just wanted to apologize to the people who read this blog for not having any new posts in a while. Graduation is this weekend and shit has been crazy lately plus I'm a lazy bastard. I do promise to have more stories up in the upcoming weeks. For all of those who visit this site, I'd like to thank you, and hope that you keep reading.

5 BAD ASS Movie Trailers

An underrated tool in the world of film is the trailer. A solid trailer can give the world a sneak peek at an unknown un-hyped movie that ends up being a fucking masterpiece. A thrilling trailer can excite the shit out of you for a movie you are dying to see. A great trailer can also get audiences into seats for a shitty movie which is good for the film biz people but bad for us, I won’t hate though. I’ve already discussed how much of a boner I have for movies in this blog. I’ve already written a couple of posts where I suggested 5 random ass movies that are worth seeing. Today I give love to my top five favorite trailers. Yes these films pretty much fall under the same genre and they are all relatively recent, but you know what I really don’t give a fuck. So here are my top five personal favorite movie trailers.

1.       The Dark Knight (2008)

Heath Ledgers’ performance in this is without a doubt fucking legendary, and has been deemed so by the critics and those who’ve seen this film constantly. Where did the world get its first look at this magnificent performance? That’s right the mother fucking trailer.

2.       X-Men, First Class (2011)

I watched this trailer online a million times and saw it before Source Code (a must see by the way) when I was high as fuck. This is a perfectly made trailer and has definitely influenced me to buy a ticket to this future summer blockbuster

3.       Watchmen (2009)

You got to love the smashing pumpkins song as the background music for this trailer. It may have been one of the most perfect musical fits ever. I’ve heard mixed reactions from people about this movie, but I’d consider it a must see. How anyone can watch the scenes of Rorschach kicking the shit out of dudes in prison and not enjoy it is beyond me. (Plus Malin Akerman doing the dirty, nuff said)  

4.       Ironman 2 (2010)

MICKEY FUCKING ROURKE…that’s all that needs to be said.

5.       Battle L.A.

This movie got devastatingly panned by the critics, honestly I didn’t think it was that bad and I enjoyed it. The reason this movie got hyped up to be the next District 9 is all because of this amazing trailer. The eerie background music, the silent scenes of action, this is an example of a trailer taking a decent action movie and making it look like a fucking epic.

Honorable Mention: Terminator Salvation

Did not like the film at all and will not waste your time boring you with a rant hating on it, but I can’t lie this trailer was very legit.

My 1st Time at Chubbys

The other day I picked up my cap and gown for graduation. It’s a surreal feeling; graduating college, the possibility of never seeing friends from here again, the idea of never partying here again, the fact that I will no longer be able to sleep till noon on a daily basis, the list goes on and on. I was chilling outside today staring at my black tassel with the golden 2011 shining back at me in the rare Albany sunlight. I started reminiscing in my mind about the past four years here, and all the good/sloppy times I’ve had most of which I have shared, and plan to share in this blog. I also started thinking about all the firsts I experienced during my four year tenure here at SUNY Albany. The first day I moved on to Montauk 3^rd floor, the first time I shot-gunned a beer, the first class I went to, the first girl I fucked, just nonstop random memories of firsts flying through my mind at a rapid pace. One first that I would like to share was the first time I went to arguably my favorite Albany bar…Chubbys.

       

I’ve written about Chubbys before in my post “The Human Fire Hose” so for those of you who aren’t familiar with this bar I suggest reading that story first, (and because it’s fucking awesome). The first time I went to Chubbys was in the beginning of the fall semester freshman year. The original crew heading out that night, (from what I can recall) was Burgundy, Blanka, Harry, Turtle, Slayer, and me. We all had our chalked IDs and were waiting anxiously on line outside of the bar to see if they would work. The only two members of our crew who couldn’t get in was Blanka, because he was too much of a pussy to chalk his paper Brazilian ID card, and Harry who was using his brothers expired license. I don’t know why we went in without them but they both didn’t really care. We weren’t that tight with Blanka at the time, so he just nonchalantly caught the bus back home without saying a word. Harry just went to a party at his friend’s place downtown.

Anyways, the four of us who made it in were fucking pumped. I had never been to a bar before, and seeing the inside of Chubbys for the first time was mesmerizing. Red vine lights hung from the ceiling, there was a jukebox next to the bar playing what I considered to be the theme song of my freshmen year, Good Life by Kanye, I couldn’t see the fucking floor which was covered in booze and filth, and of course there were tons and tons of beautiful drunk girls everywhere you looked. Chubbys had a backyard too which gave the bar a house party like feel to it. In the backyard were two beer pong tables, tall wooden fences to chill against, and plenty of space to move around. It was the beginning of the year, the weather had yet to become arctic like, so the backyard was just as packed as the inside of the bar.

We started out buying rounds of Keystone/Busch pitchers and were just trying to get a grip on our surroundings. The place was popping, music was blasting, the booze was flowing, and wasted chicks were just making out with each other left and right, it was one hell of an introduction to the Albany night life. After we all bought one round each, we decided to just get our own drinks because of how much of a bitch it was getting to the bar. I love and miss Chubbys but whenever it was packed up the ass like that night, getting a drink is a fucking hassle. I believe this is the reason I blacked out that night, and therefore cannot recall most of that night, plus it was a long ass time ago, I mean shit I was only 17 then.

I don’t remember where everyone went and I don’t remember who I spent the majority of the night with. After the initial entrance and first couple of drinks, the rest of the night is a blur, or blank. What I do remember was waking up by myself at like 5 am on a bench at the bus stop on campus. I remember smelling and seeing a giant pile of what I correctly assumed to be my puke on the ground below me. I remember going out of my fucking mind trying to figure out what the hell happened. I remember stumbling back to Montauk, trying to open the bathroom door, failing to do so, and promptly yacking all over the hallway floor. I was a fucking train wreck that night and it was a great foreshadow of things to come over the next four years. I finally get to my room, hop up on my bed and pass the fuck out.

The next morning I had a killer fucking hangover, friend requests and messages on Facebook from random people I apparently was drinking with the night before, an overwhelming feeling of shame when I saw the remains of my vomit in the hallway, and a laundry list of questions for my friends. The only thing I was able to discover was what happened to everybody else, Turtle went to a frat he would later pledge for, Slayer claimed that he went back with the girl he was hooking up with that night, and Burgundy just went home with other friends of his. I know this wasn’t the most epic story but it feels damn good to reminisce about the past, especially with graduation just around the corner. It was thanks to nights like my first night at Chubbys, why I feel that my time at college went so fast. But you know what, it’s like I always say though; if it feels like it went fast that means you enjoyed it right.    

Fountain Day

Fountain day is a cherished tradition at SUNY Albany, and it really is the only event that makes this school unique. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this campus wide event of drunken debauchery, Fountain day is when the giant fountain in the middle of our campus is turned back on for the spring and summer seasons. This momentous occasion typically takes place at the end of April because that’s usually when Albany stops being so fucking cold. Fountain day is an unbelievable experience it’s like a colossal pool party with every member of the student body. I would describe it as a week of spring break beach parties concentrated into one shitfaced afternoon. I am sad to say that due to the douche bags who don’t know how to celebrate Kegs N’ Eggs properly, the university has cancelled Fountain day. My final year in Albany and I get denied one last Fountain day because some dickheads decide to smash up some fucking cars. This is equivalent to having your football season cancelled senior year of High School. I have decided that in memory of this glorious Albany holiday, to write about my favorite and tragically final Fountain day.

Junior year, spring semester (no shit), Fountain day has finally arrived and even though the weather is shitty outside we are all pumped for this day of boozing and mayhem. For the first time that year Blanka and I are hosting the boozing session. We would always automatically start drinking at the guy’s house, good ole’ 258 Ontario, but Fountain day is an on campus event meaning we needed an on campus location to pregame at, which was me and Blanka’s suite. It was the usual crew of Burgundy, Fat, Scope, Harry, and of course the rest of my suite that day. The 258 crew came through bearing gifts of precious alcohol. All they had with them was about half a handle of Vodka, which was OK, I mean I don’t like getting too hammered on Fountain day. Mainly because I am only able to recall about five minutes of my freshman year Fountain day, thanks to having absolutely nothing in my system but shots of crystal palace. I find this to be unacceptable.

Here's me on my 1st Fountain day with Dee and co.

                                          

Harry however brought with him his own small stash of additional booze, which he sort of shared with us, but was mainly consumed by him. This stash consisted of two cans of grape flavored 4 Loko, the preferred drink of Satan himself. I find that shit to be absolutely disgusting, last semester was the first time I had a full one to myself on top of a usual night of boozing and I ended up violently vomiting that night. Anyway about an hour later all the booze was gone including the two 4 Lokos. The majority of us were feeling a decent drunk, but Harry was shithammered. You can always tell when Harry is really drunk because he can’t control the volume of his voice at that level of intoxication. While we made our way towards the festivities the entire quad was able to hear everything Harry was saying loud and slurry.

We get on line to enter the event, I see one kid get removed by security for being too drunk, and then we all laughed at him while he proceeded to puke his guts out on the grass. I was a little worried about Harry being able to make it in, but he’s only a loud drunk not a falling flat on my face drunk (well not usually). We all get in, and in a blink of an eye Harry fucking disappears, did not see him for the rest of the day. That was how Fountain day usually went down for me, friend after friend would just disappear into the madness. Fountain day is also the only day where SUNY Albany turns into fucking Miami U, nothing but hot college girls in bikinis everywhere you looked. The weather was shitty that day but the scenery was top notch. God I’m going to miss the shit out of Fountain day.

We head down to the main area where the fountain was, and where the real party was happening. Nothing but beach balls, flying flip flops, and of course completely trashed Albany kids occupied the area. I get into the pool area that surrounded the main fountain and immediately get handed a beach ball by Scope. I start pegging everyone I saw and was hit back multiple times in retaliation. I see a Japanese kid and scream “HIROSHIMA!!” before launching a beach ball right at his dome. Yes poor choice of words, but I was kind of drunk and found it amusing so fuck off. In the corner of my eye I notice the hot friend of a girl Scope used to hook up with. She was looking kind of pissed, either because she kept getting hit with beach balls or was just really cold. She's was looking good in her wet white Fountain day t-shirt and booty shorts, so I decided to go over and say hi. The way I say hi to random girls I know on Fountain day is by tackling them into the water, which is exactly what I did to her. The look on her face was a combination of shock, anger and pain. I guess she has a soft spot for me because she didn't do anything except scream "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" I laugh at her and stumble away.

After some intense beach ball warfare and water tackling, I see this incredibly gorgeous blonde wearing nothing but a black tank top and a pair of tiny white short shorts which were already becoming see-through from the water. I thought she knew me from a previous flirtatious encounter of mine because she hugs me immediately and says “it feels soooo good to hug you right now”. That all it took, I was hard and ready to make a move. I disappeared from my friends and went off with this blonde bombshell into the crowd. Some incoherent drunk flirting later and we start hooking up in the water, this was the fastest I’ve ever went from not knowing a girl to hooking up her. Looking back she was probably on ecstasy or something but come on don’t hate, it was only first base.

I follow this most likely drugged out blonde back to where her friends were, which happened to be in the middle of the fountain. She had this one friend, an extremely attractive brunette wearing a little pink bikini with a fantastic body. She was standing on the fountain itself which wasn’t turned on yet, so I was eye level with her ass. I introduce myself (don’t remember her name so I’ll just call her Pink Bikini Girl) and the two of us decided to form a beach ball throwing team. I would grab any beach ball I saw floating around, hand it to her and she would peg any unsuspecting victim. I saw Burgundy and Blanka doing the same thing with some chick nearby so I instructed Pink Bikini Girl to aim for them. I don’t know if she hit any of them but who cares, what happened next is a moment that still gives me wood.

The blonde girl I hooked up joined Pink Bikini Girl on the fountain and the two of them began grinding on each other to the music that was blasting. The duo then faced back to back and began rubbing their lovely asses together. It was at this point that I drove my face into the middle this glorious sight and had both of their asses rubbing against my face. They didn’t care and began rubbing both of their butts in my face even more. Tears are coming to my eyes as I write about this for it was one of my all time top Albany moments.

Eventually the blonde girl came down from dancing with her friend, and the two of us began making out again. I had a feeling of pure lustful euphoria until one of her other ugly friends took her away shortly after, WHAT A BITCH. Then again I was hooking up with her friend who most likely had no idea what was going on so she may have had a legit reason to do what she did.

About an hour later I find another girl I’m friends with in the middle of the fountain. We talk for a little when the fountain finally turns on, to the roar a very enthusiastic student body.  At this point everyone is going even crazier than before as beach balls and flip flops begin to fly through the air at an even higher volume. Every single girl who was riding on top of shoulders were being shouted at, “Show Your Tits!” by the belligerent crowd. Those who did not comply were met with hundreds of beach balls tossed directly at them.

Freezing cold water crashes down on my head, and I had reached the breaking point of my tolerance for the cold. I usually love getting soaked with water and shit like that but the weather was way too fucking cold and I simply could not handle it. I jump out of the fountain totally ditching my friend and head for cover to recuperate. I look out at the sight of hundreds of wasted students, and bikini babes surrounding the fountain, chanting our school’s name and tossing around everything in sight. This is a sight I will sadly never see again but will always remember.

That was my favorite and final Fountain day, a beloved tradition that will be sorely missed and can never truly be replaced. Just to give everyone a visual look of what Fountain day was like, here is a video I stole from YouTube.

 R.I.P. Fountain Day my favorite college celebration

Kegs N Eggs Freshman Year Part 2

Saturday Night (Post Kegs N Eggs)

I’m woken up by a foul smelling odor, an odor that I became very familiar with that weekend. It was stale beer. My clothes were drenched in the stuff, so were Harry’s, and so were some of Dee’s that were left in the room. My shoes were disgustingly filthy and had to be disposed of considering what I was stepping in that morning. No amount of Febreze would kill this stench, and it would occupy our room for the next week. Oh well I guess that’s what happens when you get shithammered in the morning, and of course douse yourself and your friends with pitchers of Keystone Light. I look at my phone, it’s around dinner time, and I am fucking starving. I round up the guys and we sadly go get our first meal of the day, well if you don’t count the beer as a meal.

During dinner everyone decides there is no way we are not drinking that night, I mean come on why not. I think Linus and ROFL brought a handle of Svedka up with them. We pre-gamed with that and only that, no one wanted to taste beer for the rest of the weekend. A typical pregame session later and we headed back downtown to booze for the third time in 24 hours. Bogies, another underage bar was our destination that evening, back then they didn’t give a fuck if you were under 21 or not they served everybody. The bar itself is a little shady but that night it was legit, tons of good looking girls, wearing close to nothing, shaking their beautiful asses populated the dance floor, the music was solid for a nice change of pace too. A few mixed drinks later and we were out on the floor, as a group just dancing like a bunch of drunk fucking retards. As soon as the song Shipping Up to Boston came on, the dance floor turned into a full out mosh pit. There’s something about hearing that song on the day of Kegs N Eggs that just set everybody off into a violent frenzy, it was quite an experience.

I left the dance floor to catch my breath when I met this very attractive girl who was visiting for the weekend, I’ll refer to her as NYU. I was fucking wasted when I met NYU so I don’t remember to many details about her, only that she was skinny, a brunette, and was wearing tight jeans. She seemed into me and because she had a vagina I was into her. After some casual, yet semi-aggressive flirting, we all leave the bar to catch a cab. NYU and her friends picked up Chinese food while my crew tried to flag down a cab. All of us pile into the cab with NYU on my lap, eating fried rice and sesame chicken. It smelled delicious and without asking NYU began feeding it to me, and then she began making out with me, wifey material right there mofos.

For the first time in my life I had hooked up with two different random girls in one day, I felt on top of the world. Once the cab got back to campus Burgundy and the guys headed back to Montauk and I sat on a bench with NYU just talking, trying to seal the deal. Unfortunately for me her overly protective gay friend was there and cock blocked the living shit out of me. Mother fucker, but what was I going to do commit a hate crime to get laid…maybe, but why ruin the weekend. Sometimes I feel like getting with girls is like baseball, you could do all the right things at the plate but end up hitting a hard line drive right to the fucking shortstop. I made solid contact with NYU that night but ended up walking back to my dugout with my head down.  

I headed back upstairs…alone…where everyone was playing our favorite game super smash brothers. ROFL still had some weed left and threw out the idea of blazing. It was 4:30 in the morning but for some reason everyone was down. ROFL, Linus, Turtle, Burgundy, Harry and I went out into the Indian Quad court yard lit two blunts and passed them around. Stupid yes, but with the exception of a few drunk kids the place was deserted so we were in clear. We finished the blunts and went back to playing smash; it was 5 am, what the fuck was wrong with us. Then again shit like that is what makes Kegs N Eggs a weekend like no other.

Sunday (Recovery Day)

Sundays are usually reserved for recovering from the rest of the weekend, and let me tell you we all desperately needed that Sunday to recoup. Sleep late, eat a couple of meals throughout the day, play some video games, and have NO BOOZE, all of which are the necessary elements to a perfect recovery day. ROFL and Linus were in no shape to go back home that day, what they were in shape for however, was to smoke more weed. Yes ROFL decided that we must finish all of the weed he had brought up with him that weekend.

Around 8pm ROFL rolls the final blunt, the question is where do we smoke it? You know where we decided to smoke this Sunday blunt? My fucking dorm room. I don’t know why or how it came down to that, probably one of the dumbest fucking things I have ever done in college. We are all sensible guys but for some reason I was the only one who was concerned about smoking a blunt in my dorm room, even Harry didn’t give a fuck. I ended up giving into peer pressure though, and just went along with it we figured as long as we cover the smoke detector, the bottom of the door, and blow the smoke into a spoof out the window, we would be fine.

The weed session ends and we are all severely fucking baked, I mean we looked like we were straight out of a stoner catalog. To enjoy our high even more we decided to go see Semi-Pro at the mall. Harry didn’t make it and spent the night passed out in Giggles’ room. Once we get to the mall we immediately ambush the concession stands, I had never spent so much money on food at a movie theater but when you’re that high you don’t give a shit. At the time the movie I thought the movie was hilarious, but this was mainly because of the weed, I love Will Ferrell but Semi-Pro was probably one of his weakest movie .

After the movie it was around midnight, and we found ourselves stranded at the mall, (since the buses stopped running earlier on Sundays as I mentioned in “The Luckiest Night of My Life” story). My high wore off when I became aware of this and I began to panic, but EVERYONE ELSE WAS STILL FUCKING HIGH. While I tried calling every cab number I knew, they all just sat down and laughed at me…dickheads. Every number I called, even Mike the Cab driver were not answering, and this was pissing me off. This infuriating experience came to an end at about 1 am when we finally catch a cab and head back to campus. The guys went to sleep as soon as we returned, but I had a midterm the next day so I had to stay up for almost the entire night studying. That is how this wild weekend came to a close for me.

I’m going to throw out some roughly estimated statistics from this weekend just to drive the point home of how fucking off the wall it was:

Weekend Statistics 3/14/08-3/17/08

Times gone downtown: 3
Number of bars entered: 4
Blunts smoked: 5
Girls flirted with: 78
Girls I actually hooked up with: 2
Money spent: approx $140
Number of times puking: 2
Hours slept: 17
Alcohol consumed : 1 handle of vodka, approximately 4-7 mixed drinks each, and at least 15 pitchers worth of beer

Kegs N Eggs Freshman Year Part 1

This past weekend I celebrated my final Kegs N Eggs as a student here at SUNY Albany. For those of you who are not familiar with this glorious holiday, Kegs N Eggs occurs the weekend before St. Paddy's day, and entails an insane amount of drinking starting at like 6 am. If you’re a fucking lunatic you can also start drinking that Friday night and into the morning. Although this year may have been the most chaotic Kegs N Eggs ever (based on the videos I’ve been watching all day online) and I had a phenomenal time, on a personal level it COMPLETLEY FAILS in comparison to the weekend of my first Kegs N Eggs my freshman year. To this day that weekend is still one of the most absurd, awesome, and out of control weekends I have ever had in my life. It all started that Friday night at around 7pm…

Friday night (Kegs N Eggs Eve)

We start the night off by heading to a happy hour at one our favorite bars. We were with some frat guys who lived on our floor and were planning to go to their house after a few beers for Burgundy’s first ever blunt. The guy had never smoked before and everyone on our floor knew this, so we were all excited for this “highly” anticipated blaze session. We get to the frat house at around 9ish, where one of the frat guys, and our friend who was visiting, ROFL, rolled two fat blunts to pass around. ROFL lit the first blunt took a hit and passed it to Burgundy. Burgundy took about two hits and started coughing his lungs out, as pretty much everyone does their first time. A few seconds later he falls off the couch onto the carpet laughing his ass off. They say you don’t get high the first time you smoke, but Burgundy sure as hell seemed it. We spent the rest of that night doing the usual shit you do when you’re high:

·         playing video games

·         going on the Internet and looking at stupid shit

·         blasting music while staring at the visualizer on windows media player

·         Having  dumb ass conversations about anything

·         and of course getting some fantastic calzones from D.P. Dough

It was around 12:30 when we got back to the dorms, which left us enough time to catch some solid weed induced sleep, before waking up ridiculously early to take part in our first ever Kegs N Eggs.

Saturday morning (Kegs N Eggs)

A little passed 5 am Burgundy wakes up Harry and I for a morning of heavy binge drinking. Our usual wake up time on Saturdays that semester was usually around 4 in the afternoon, so seeing this hour on that day was quite bizarre, then again so is the concept of Kegs N Eggs. I don’t know if it was because of all the excitement I had for this long awaited morning of boozing but I woke up right away and began getting ready. Suddenly it hit me…the buses don’t run at that time of day and with all the people going downtown from the campus that morning, getting a cab was going to fucking suck. I bring up my concerns to Harry, who had a solution to this predicament. Harry had a number for Mike the cab driver, an independent cab driver who had driven us back from downtown several times before. This 70 year old dude was out of his mind, hilarious, but fucking insane. Mike would tell us all about the great pleasures of occasional “road head” from random girls, and other stories about all the “drunk mother fuckers” he would pick up throughout the years. I wish I had a video of this guy ranting, that shit would sell.

A brief call later and Mike was outside in a matter of minutes ready to take us to Michaels for an all morning open bar. Michaels was one of the best underage bars in Albany, it got shut down my sophomore year and has been seriously missed. We get downtown around 630 and the place was a zoo. People were EVERYWHERE decked out in green, drinking, and totally trashed. The line to Michaels wasn’t too bad but pretty long for 6:30 in the fucking morning, just another odd commonality of Kegs N Eggs. We get into Michaels and simply put, it was packed up the ass. The occupants were other dudes like me and tons of hot girls in slutty Kegs N Eggs gear. I had never seen so much green spandex in my life and it was a beautiful sight. I fight my way through this crowd and as soon as I get to the bar I ask for a beer. The smokeshow bartender who was only wearing a tight white t-shirt and green booty shorts sprays me in the face with Keystone. This was awesome and sucked at the same time because I didn’t see it coming at all. I finally get my hands on some cups and a pitcher, and started pounding down beers with my friends.

Around 8 am I think I was 2 pitchers in, when I started to feel that way too familiar combination of drunkenness and uncomfortable fullness. I decided it was a good time to take a breather so I try to make my way from the bar and back to my friends. As I made my way through the max capacity crowd I get elbowed reallllly fucking hard in the stomach. This was all it took to push me over the limit, I see a garbage pail and full out barf right into it, in front of all of my friends no less, who proceeded to mock and laugh at me. I had managed to get some puke in my pitcher and had to throw it away. Even though I had to toss that pitcher, ROFL and Harry had luckily acquired pitchers as well. Once I recovered the beer chugging continued.

Another hour or so pass and we are all completely annihilated, fucking shit hammered at like 9 in the morning. I doubt there was one sober person at Michaels the dance floor was going absolutely wild. The men’s bathroom floor was a colossal puddle that consisted of beer and every bodily fluid known to man with the exception of maybe blood. We got to the point where instead of drinking our beer we just poured it on each other and other people in the bar. I swear Kegs N Eggs is the only day you can do this and people love you for it. The only part about this that sucked was when Linus poured the beer down my nose instead of my mouth. Fucking idiot that shit burned, but hey I won’t hate we were all severely retarded that morning.

I see a girl I know with her friends, one of which was a short slightly chubby cute girl wearing a denim skirt and a black homemade Kegs N Eggs shirt, Dee. After some drunken small talk Dee and I start to dance and then make out. We actually dated for like two months afterwards, ahh Kegs N Eggs where Andy Mark finds love. At 1130 the day is over and the bouncers of Michaels begin to kick everyone out. Now Albany is usually pretty cold this time in March and being soaked in beer intensified the shit out of this cold. This was also the first time I had ever seen downtown Albany in the daylight. We catch the bus with Dee and her friends, and head back to the dorms. While walking back to the dorms one of Dee’s friends runs through the campus center and comes across a tour group. I wish I could have seen the looks on those parents’ faces. Imagine you’re trying to figure out where to send your first born child to college, a big decision for any parent. You come to a school you are seriously considering, and while on a tour you see a drunk girl wearing a slutty outfit, covered in beer at 1130 am. Only on Kegs N Eggs my friends only on Kegs N Eggs.

I bring Dee back to my place we hook up some more, get undressed but only down to our underwear and fool around a little too. She was not going to let me bang her within two hours of meeting her unfortunately, I didn’t mind though, plus I was exhausted so we both pass out for a couple of hours. I walk Dee back to her room after this short nap, come back to my room and fall asleep for another hour or two. It was 3 pm, in another 6 hours we would begin drinking again.