Friday night (Kegs N Eggs Eve)
We start the night off by heading to a happy hour at one our favorite bars. We were with some frat guys who lived on our floor and were planning to go to their house after a few beers for Burgundy’s first ever blunt. The guy had never smoked before and everyone on our floor knew this, so we were all excited for this “highly” anticipated blaze session. We get to the frat house at around 9ish, where one of the frat guys, and our friend who was visiting, ROFL, rolled two fat blunts to pass around. ROFL lit the first blunt took a hit and passed it to Burgundy. Burgundy took about two hits and started coughing his lungs out, as pretty much everyone does their first time. A few seconds later he falls off the couch onto the carpet laughing his ass off. They say you don’t get high the first time you smoke, but Burgundy sure as hell seemed it. We spent the rest of that night doing the usual shit you do when you’re high:
· playing video games
· going on the Internet and looking at stupid shit
· blasting music while staring at the visualizer on windows media player
· Having dumb ass conversations about anything
· and of course getting some fantastic calzones from D.P. Dough
It was around 12:30 when we got back to the dorms, which left us enough time to catch some solid weed induced sleep, before waking up ridiculously early to take part in our first ever Kegs N Eggs.
Saturday morning (Kegs N Eggs)
A little passed 5 am Burgundy wakes up Harry and I for a morning of heavy binge drinking. Our usual wake up time on Saturdays that semester was usually around 4 in the afternoon, so seeing this hour on that day was quite bizarre, then again so is the concept of Kegs N Eggs. I don’t know if it was because of all the excitement I had for this long awaited morning of boozing but I woke up right away and began getting ready. Suddenly it hit me…the buses don’t run at that time of day and with all the people going downtown from the campus that morning, getting a cab was going to fucking suck. I bring up my concerns to Harry, who had a solution to this predicament. Harry had a number for Mike the cab driver, an independent cab driver who had driven us back from downtown several times before. This 70 year old dude was out of his mind, hilarious, but fucking insane. Mike would tell us all about the great pleasures of occasional “road head” from random girls, and other stories about all the “drunk mother fuckers” he would pick up throughout the years. I wish I had a video of this guy ranting, that shit would sell.
A brief call later and Mike was outside in a matter of minutes ready to take us to Michaels for an all morning open bar. Michaels was one of the best underage bars in Albany, it got shut down my sophomore year and has been seriously missed. We get downtown around 630 and the place was a zoo. People were EVERYWHERE decked out in green, drinking, and totally trashed. The line to Michaels wasn’t too bad but pretty long for 6:30 in the fucking morning, just another odd commonality of Kegs N Eggs. We get into Michaels and simply put, it was packed up the ass. The occupants were other dudes like me and tons of hot girls in slutty Kegs N Eggs gear. I had never seen so much green spandex in my life and it was a beautiful sight. I fight my way through this crowd and as soon as I get to the bar I ask for a beer. The smokeshow bartender who was only wearing a tight white t-shirt and green booty shorts sprays me in the face with Keystone. This was awesome and sucked at the same time because I didn’t see it coming at all. I finally get my hands on some cups and a pitcher, and started pounding down beers with my friends.
Around 8 am I think I was 2 pitchers in, when I started to feel that way too familiar combination of drunkenness and uncomfortable fullness. I decided it was a good time to take a breather so I try to make my way from the bar and back to my friends. As I made my way through the max capacity crowd I get elbowed reallllly fucking hard in the stomach. This was all it took to push me over the limit, I see a garbage pail and full out barf right into it, in front of all of my friends no less, who proceeded to mock and laugh at me. I had managed to get some puke in my pitcher and had to throw it away. Even though I had to toss that pitcher, ROFL and Harry had luckily acquired pitchers as well. Once I recovered the beer chugging continued.
Another hour or so pass and we are all completely annihilated, fucking shit hammered at like 9 in the morning. I doubt there was one sober person at Michaels the dance floor was going absolutely wild. The men’s bathroom floor was a colossal puddle that consisted of beer and every bodily fluid known to man with the exception of maybe blood. We got to the point where instead of drinking our beer we just poured it on each other and other people in the bar. I swear Kegs N Eggs is the only day you can do this and people love you for it. The only part about this that sucked was when Linus poured the beer down my nose instead of my mouth. Fucking idiot that shit burned, but hey I won’t hate we were all severely retarded that morning.
I see a girl I know with her friends, one of which was a short slightly chubby cute girl wearing a denim skirt and a black homemade Kegs N Eggs shirt, Dee. After some drunken small talk Dee and I start to dance and then make out. We actually dated for like two months afterwards, ahh Kegs N Eggs where Andy Mark finds love. At 1130 the day is over and the bouncers of Michaels begin to kick everyone out. Now Albany is usually pretty cold this time in March and being soaked in beer intensified the shit out of this cold. This was also the first time I had ever seen downtown Albany in the daylight. We catch the bus with Dee and her friends, and head back to the dorms. While walking back to the dorms one of Dee’s friends runs through the campus center and comes across a tour group. I wish I could have seen the looks on those parents’ faces. Imagine you’re trying to figure out where to send your first born child to college, a big decision for any parent. You come to a school you are seriously considering, and while on a tour you see a drunk girl wearing a slutty outfit, covered in beer at 1130 am. Only on Kegs N Eggs my friends only on Kegs N Eggs.
I bring Dee back to my place we hook up some more, get undressed but only down to our underwear and fool around a little too. She was not going to let me bang her within two hours of meeting her unfortunately, I didn’t mind though, plus I was exhausted so we both pass out for a couple of hours. I walk Dee back to her room after this short nap, come back to my room and fall asleep for another hour or two. It was 3 pm, in another 6 hours we would begin drinking again.
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