Fountain day is a cherished tradition at SUNY Albany, and it really is the only event that makes this school unique. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this campus wide event of drunken debauchery, Fountain day is when the giant fountain in the middle of our campus is turned back on for the spring and summer seasons. This momentous occasion typically takes place at the end of April because that’s usually when Albany stops being so fucking cold. Fountain day is an unbelievable experience it’s like a colossal pool party with every member of the student body. I would describe it as a week of spring break beach parties concentrated into one shitfaced afternoon. I am sad to say that due to the douche bags who don’t know how to celebrate Kegs N’ Eggs properly, the university has cancelled Fountain day. My final year in Albany and I get denied one last Fountain day because some dickheads decide to smash up some fucking cars. This is equivalent to having your football season cancelled senior year of High School. I have decided that in memory of this glorious Albany holiday, to write about my favorite and tragically final Fountain day.
Junior year, spring semester (no shit), Fountain day has finally arrived and even though the weather is shitty outside we are all pumped for this day of boozing and mayhem. For the first time that year Blanka and I are hosting the boozing session. We would always automatically start drinking at the guy’s house, good ole’ 258 Ontario, but Fountain day is an on campus event meaning we needed an on campus location to pregame at, which was me and Blanka’s suite. It was the usual crew of Burgundy, Fat, Scope, Harry, and of course the rest of my suite that day. The 258 crew came through bearing gifts of precious alcohol. All they had with them was about half a handle of Vodka, which was OK, I mean I don’t like getting too hammered on Fountain day. Mainly because I am only able to recall about five minutes of my freshman year Fountain day, thanks to having absolutely nothing in my system but shots of crystal palace. I find this to be unacceptable.
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| Here's me on my 1st Fountain day with Dee and co. |
We get on line to enter the event, I see one kid get removed by security for being too drunk, and then we all laughed at him while he proceeded to puke his guts out on the grass. I was a little worried about Harry being able to make it in, but he’s only a loud drunk not a falling flat on my face drunk (well not usually). We all get in, and in a blink of an eye Harry fucking disappears, did not see him for the rest of the day. That was how Fountain day usually went down for me, friend after friend would just disappear into the madness. Fountain day is also the only day where SUNY Albany turns into fucking Miami U, nothing but hot college girls in bikinis everywhere you looked. The weather was shitty that day but the scenery was top notch. God I’m going to miss the shit out of Fountain day.
We head down to the main area where the fountain was, and where the real party was happening. Nothing but beach balls, flying flip flops, and of course completely trashed Albany kids occupied the area. I get into the pool area that surrounded the main fountain and immediately get handed a beach ball by Scope. I start pegging everyone I saw and was hit back multiple times in retaliation. I see a Japanese kid and scream “HIROSHIMA!!” before launching a beach ball right at his dome. Yes poor choice of words, but I was kind of drunk and found it amusing so fuck off. In the corner of my eye I notice the hot friend of a girl Scope used to hook up with. She was looking kind of pissed, either because she kept getting hit with beach balls or was just really cold. She's was looking good in her wet white Fountain day t-shirt and booty shorts, so I decided to go over and say hi. The way I say hi to random girls I know on Fountain day is by tackling them into the water, which is exactly what I did to her. The look on her face was a combination of shock, anger and pain. I guess she has a soft spot for me because she didn't do anything except scream "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" I laugh at her and stumble away.
After some intense beach ball warfare and water tackling, I see this incredibly gorgeous blonde wearing nothing but a black tank top and a pair of tiny white short shorts which were already becoming see-through from the water. I thought she knew me from a previous flirtatious encounter of mine because she hugs me immediately and says “it feels soooo good to hug you right now”. That all it took, I was hard and ready to make a move. I disappeared from my friends and went off with this blonde bombshell into the crowd. Some incoherent drunk flirting later and we start hooking up in the water, this was the fastest I’ve ever went from not knowing a girl to hooking up her. Looking back she was probably on ecstasy or something but come on don’t hate, it was only first base.
I follow this most likely drugged out blonde back to where her friends were, which happened to be in the middle of the fountain. She had this one friend, an extremely attractive brunette wearing a little pink bikini with a fantastic body. She was standing on the fountain itself which wasn’t turned on yet, so I was eye level with her ass. I introduce myself (don’t remember her name so I’ll just call her Pink Bikini Girl) and the two of us decided to form a beach ball throwing team. I would grab any beach ball I saw floating around, hand it to her and she would peg any unsuspecting victim. I saw Burgundy and Blanka doing the same thing with some chick nearby so I instructed Pink Bikini Girl to aim for them. I don’t know if she hit any of them but who cares, what happened next is a moment that still gives me wood.
The blonde girl I hooked up joined Pink Bikini Girl on the fountain and the two of them began grinding on each other to the music that was blasting. The duo then faced back to back and began rubbing their lovely asses together. It was at this point that I drove my face into the middle this glorious sight and had both of their asses rubbing against my face. They didn’t care and began rubbing both of their butts in my face even more. Tears are coming to my eyes as I write about this for it was one of my all time top Albany moments.
Eventually the blonde girl came down from dancing with her friend, and the two of us began making out again. I had a feeling of pure lustful euphoria until one of her other ugly friends took her away shortly after, WHAT A BITCH. Then again I was hooking up with her friend who most likely had no idea what was going on so she may have had a legit reason to do what she did.
About an hour later I find another girl I’m friends with in the middle of the fountain. We talk for a little when the fountain finally turns on, to the roar a very enthusiastic student body. At this point everyone is going even crazier than before as beach balls and flip flops begin to fly through the air at an even higher volume. Every single girl who was riding on top of shoulders were being shouted at, “Show Your Tits!” by the belligerent crowd. Those who did not comply were met with hundreds of beach balls tossed directly at them.
Freezing cold water crashes down on my head, and I had reached the breaking point of my tolerance for the cold. I usually love getting soaked with water and shit like that but the weather was way too fucking cold and I simply could not handle it. I jump out of the fountain totally ditching my friend and head for cover to recuperate. I look out at the sight of hundreds of wasted students, and bikini babes surrounding the fountain, chanting our school’s name and tossing around everything in sight. This is a sight I will sadly never see again but will always remember.
That was my favorite and final Fountain day, a beloved tradition that will be sorely missed and can never truly be replaced. Just to give everyone a visual look of what Fountain day was like, here is a video I stole from YouTube.
R.I.P. Fountain Day my favorite college celebration
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